how blank slate are we talking here? New construction home, even?
cause I’d consider one of those leviton smart circuit breakers, even:
I have a sense which does load monitoring but it’s not perfect, and this would actually let you switch on/off entire circuits with smart control, plus give direct monitoring, which, it sounds like you may want to do, given you want to control some some pretty heavy-load stuff. I’m considering upgrading to one of these panels at some point.
the alternative for high-load stuff has been things like that one zooz relay, but it’s still somewhat limited in application compared to a switchable breaker.
I definitely agree with above - look into those “best hardware for HA” threads, inovelli is obviously high on that list, but anything with good local control that wont take a dive if the internet goes out, aeotec, zooz, eaton, leviton generally all reliable, but the bigger names tend to have more basic features…Anything with homekit support is usually gonna support local control. Esphome is also great and can probably take the place of 90% of the sensors on the market. Hue & Sengled bulbs generally always good to me, lately also enjoying phillips “wiz” bulbs which have local wifi support, seem to work great, and are often on sale.
as for protocols, platforms, hubs, servers, etc…i can tell you what i did, i took a lenovo mini PC that has dual NVME (in raid1) plus room for a half-height expansion card, which I dropped a 10gig nic, it runs docker, home assistant, various supporting containers, is networked to my NAS which provides backups/some redundancy to it, etc…it’s all designed to be somewhat modular, I plan to eventually build a 2nd, identical machine and have some notion of failover, but for now, my NAS could also serve that purpose in a pinch.
It’s got a gocontrol Zigbee+Zwave hub, plus the minipc has built in bluetooth, etc. I also built two zigbee CC2530 routers to expand the zigbee range of said hub, as it’s in my basement, although now that my mesh is pretty large, I’m not even sure they’re necessary anymore. lastly, if you want to be truly paranoid, ECC ram+raid for everything, especially nas/storage. It’s funny how often I find a way NOT to use raspberry pis in my setups, for these reasons…failed SD cards not my idea of a reliable setup.
another blank slate consideration, obvious thing is to pull tons of cat6a (or better), less obvious thing for your hub - if you’re going more DIY/server route, see if you can run some heavy duty shielded USB3.0 extenders to keystone jacks, sounds crazy, but plugging your zigbee/z-wave dongle into a 15ft USB that you’ve ran up from the basement to the 1st floor, can be a huge win for signal strength, you can hide various equipment a lot easier, or simply use it to provide power to a sensor, rather than using battery powered sensors. And that’s yet another consideration for blank slate, if you know it’s going to be there, hard-wire as much as you can, no batteries.